4 years ago...

4 years ago - Someone broke my heart and my life was in shambles.
4 years ago - I was not in Your house and I knew You but felt You were distant.
4 years ago - I was estranged from my family and my life lost its colour when my heart was broken.

4 years ago - I wanted to further my studies for a degree but didn't know how.
4 years ago - I didn't think I could believe in love again.
4 years ago - I didn't think I could even trust men (even as friends) again.
4 years ago - I didn't think I would excel in my job.
4 years ago - Most of my friends then were his friends, my own set of friends had their own lives or were overseas.

4 years ago - Bitterness, Cynicism, Distrust, engulfed me.
4 years ago - I was self-driven but empty.

Since coming back to His house, He has changed all that.

During this Sunday's praise and worship, the Lord reminded me where I was 4 years ago and where I am now and how He brought about that transformation in my life. My heart was filled with gratefulness and thanks. I thanked Him for what He has done and is about to do.



Looking back at that past 4 years, I don't expect to be in His house.
But things started to change when the prodigal daughter came back to the Father's house...



I didn't expect to make many friends, brothers and sisters whom I now called my extended family. And a number of these people who were once total strangers and I didn't know of their existence... I have grown to love them.



I didn't expect my family members to become closer than before and to have the honor of worshipping Him in the same house.



I didn't think I could work full time and study my bachelor's part time, sponsored myself, stayed sane amongst the busy schedule and most of all, to graduate with a degree with honors.



I didn't think that while studying part-time, I was promoted twice consecutively in my job.



I didn't expect my poly best friend, Joan and I to rekindle and yet our love for each other remained strong and intact.

I didn't expect to be married to a fantastic husband who is also now one of my best friends.



I didn't expect Him to use whatever experience I had in my life, good and well the not so good to help and bring His hope to others who are in the same situations I was previously.



I didn't expect myself to be filled again with His hope and His love so much so that the colours in my life are more vibrant than before.



I didn't expect I could have the courage to believe in myself and believe in others too.



I didn't think I could pick myself up from a fall but He came down into the pit to carry me up and out of it... helped me stand on my feet and showed me how to walk again.



During worship today, He told me that where I am now is only a fraction of what He is going to do in my life. My mind was blown away when I heard that.



I want to pen this down as an 'altar' in my life of what He has done in my life since 4 years ago, to thank Him for His deliverance, His hand upon me and what He is going to do still in my years to come. Whatever it is...I know He has given me meaning and reason to my existence.



I pray some day next time, I will look back at this entry and be grateful to Him of what He has done in my life lest I become forgetful of His goodness and faithfulness and troubles seem too overbearing.



What about you? Where were you few years ago? =)