Obedience is better...

(Warning.. long entry)

It's been interesting the last two weeks. Let's just say that almost everyday starting last Friday, I had to make certain decisions about certain things.

Yes, we do make decisions everyday of our lives and maybe it's not something big. But the last 1 week plus or so, the Lord reminded me how some of our decisions border on fine thin lines and even a tiny decision can cause a whirlwind result if decided wrongly.

The decision making process is always gruelling. My uni good friend, Serene tells me so and I totally agree. The last few days, I had to make certain decisions and like I said earlier, making a decision about something is not easy. So I pondered and I quizzled my close friends, I talked to my loving husband who is ever so supportive and I prayed and talked to God about all these things. Still, there was no peace about some things.

I had no peace because I think my mind doesn't tally with what the spirit of God tells me.

Y'know how the human side of you wants to take certain actions to set things right? Well, that was me this week.

I watched a lot of movies this week. Hellboy on Thursday and just last night it was The Dark Knight-[side note: Heath Ledger was really excellent as a joker. In fact I thought even Christian Bale was a really good batman and so was Michael Caine as ALFRED the BUTLER (Oonie, I got it right this time ok!!)]

Both movies kinda spoke to me especially Batman..(What?! Some of you maybe rolling your eyes to China going how can a movie like Batman and especially Hellboy speaks to you?!). Again, the Lord showed me how our decisions border on fine thin lines.

To shed some light on how the movies spoke to me... well, for Hellboy, he's a demon.. yeah and in the movie he made a decision to protect the humans eventhough the humans scorn his looks and rejected him cos he isn't human. As for Batman, it showed me that there is always the good and bad in people but its what side do we wanna choose to believe? The good or the bad that makes a difference. It doesn't take alot of effort to choose to believe the bad in people to be honest.

Prior to watching Batman last night, we attended the Go Forth Missions Conference and again the Lord spoke to me through Rev. Dr. Loren Cunningham's sermon about the character Joseph in the bible. In short, I didn't realised that the bible never indicates that God is the Father of Joseph eventhough he was from the lineage of Abraham and that God always say He is the father of Abraham and Jacob. In our eyes or rather in mine, Joseph has always been a smart and successful bloke, able to handle the entire Egypt well in his duties as second in charge. Yet God never says He is father of Joseph cos Joseph's one decision of making his boss, Pharaoh into the wealthiest country then, actually turned God's dream for Joseph into a nightmare for the Israelites years later.

This morning, I was listening to some music and basically chilling out while I vegetate. After one music track ended, it went onto the next track and instead of a nice soothing soundtrack, it was a sermon from John Bevere and again it spoke to me. Coincidence? I don't think so. Things have been happening so aptly of late.

As I began to listen to the sermon, I realised that with the latest decisions I need to make, I have not come to God with an obedient heart. It's more of "Ok, I have a situation here God, what do You want me to do about it? What?! Okaaayyyy... Riiiight... Thanks, but no thanks" And I should be coming to God with "God, I have a situation here, despite my own emotions, my thoughts and my plans, etc. I will obey what You want me to do about it.." Ouch.. my flesh hurts and tugs. Heheh.

Again, I'm reminded obedience to God is better than sacrifices. And I rather obey for the long run than to make the wrong decisions that border on fine thin lines in my shortsightedness. Obedience is not exactly easy or erm even joyful sometimes, and many a times the test of obedience comes very subtlely without us knowing. But I know one thing for sure.. (Philippinas 4:7)"7the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Once more, I've fallen deeper for Him.