My Testimony of My First Church Camp

My Testimony of My First Church Camp

"24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, "Let me go, for it is daybreak." But Jacob replied, "I will not let you go unless you bless me." (Genesis 32: 24-26 NIV)

Hmmmm.... Now that 3 verses struck me real hard. Perhaps some of you are aware that I have been praying for a spiritual breakthrough; to be Holy Spirit baptised, for the longest time ever. I think since the mid of last year and somehow to no avail.

This is my testimony of my first church camp with Hope church and I have decided to blog this entry down to remind me of God's goodness...

As mentioned above, I have been asking God every now and then when would I ever be Holy Spirit Bap. I questioned Him many times asking was it because I am not qualified and unworthy? And to be honest, in the beginning, I felt inadequate and spiritually retarded (it's true!) whenever I had to attend meetings in church and I could not speak in tongues and could only wonder and try to fathom what was it like to speak and communicate with my Heavenly Father in a different language altogether.

If I recalled correctly, one time after one of such meetings last year. I was vex with despair that I went home with a burden in my heart and cried to God. I wasn't raising my voice at God. I broke down and cried. Maybe this sounds silly but I guess, to want to experience something so much yet not be able to experience it was a real torture to me. All of a sudden, I felt the Holy Spirit swaying me and felt my heart calmed down with serenity. I knew it was Him. He told me not to despair and that in due time I would be able to speak in tongues. Being a curious kid since young, I pressed on asking Him if I could speak in tongues now. Tried with my own strength as I may, I could not and don't know how as well. But having His presence beside me, all despair and frustrations seeped away although I could not speak in tongues. So since that incident, whenever I prayed, I would feel the Holy Spirit swaying me... sometimes strongly, sometimes gently but always assuring and comforting me. It was wonderful to feel His assurance always...but I know deep down that I wanted more.

As church camp draws near, the 3 verses above that I read in Genesis pressed on further in my heart. I prayed to God and well ... sortof demanded in my prayer to God "I don't care anymore, if I had to wrestle with You like Jacob did to get a blessing, I will!!! [Note: the 3 !!! marks hehe] Just don't dislocate my hip like You did with Jacob yeah? I still need it!!! Amen!!". Hahaha.... silly... I know. I'm not kidding though when I said I told God that.

We arrived in Malacca safe and sound and at the beginning of the camp, we were told to write down our expectations from this camp on pieces of paper that were taped against the wall. The joy of finally arriving in Malacca, in addition with the excitement of my first church camp, I soon forgot that I wanted to be Holy Spirit Bap! I was expecting to make new friends and build better friendships. Well, I forgot but God didn't. As I was walking towards the walls to crayon down my expectations, someone wrote "BREAKTHROUGH" on it and seeing that, it spoke to me and reminded me that I wanted a spiritual breakthrough! I still crayon down that I wanted to make new friends and build better friendships but the word "breakthrough" was etched deep in my heart now.

So we had our praise and worship sessions on the first day which I thoroughly enjoyed and after an entire day of hype of arriving in Malacca, I crawled into my bed and was soon in lala land.

Next day, I woke up early to freshen up and saw the beautiful sunrise from our room's Tv area. Along with Jerilee, we were both cooing with delight about how lovely the sunrise was while snapping our fingers away at our digital cameras....trying to capture this moment. She went to freshen up and I went to blowdry my hair. While drying my hair... I asked God in my heart, "So, will it be today, huh?". I heard Him say audibly despite the noise made by the blowdryer "By the end of this church camp, you would be able to speak in tongues". Wow! That was literally mind (and hair) blowing! Hehe.

During the second day's praise and worship session, afterwhich everyone was praying, I prayed as well and tried to speak in tongues (as I was given a word to speak prior to church camp but never got down to uttering it). I was just repeating the word given to me but nothing happened. Zilch. Nada. Zero. Basically... nothing. And that was the 2nd day. Hmm... God, did You say end of this church camp? It's already the 2nd day.... Or You meant the next church camp?

Anyway, the third day of church camp arrived hastily and during another of the praise and worship session, there was an altar call for people who want to know what ministry in church they want to serve in. Was thinking to myself "oh... not me, I already (sortof) know what ministry I wanna serve, just that I have yet to decide on the final choice among the two." Suddenly, I felt a tug on my chest. It was pulling me towards the altar call. I thought to myself "Huh?! I already know what ministry I wanna serve!!! What's this?!". I didn't budge from where I stood but the tug got stronger and stronger until I was gasping for breathe. I thought my childhood asthma had caught up with me once more.

Ming who was beside me, saw me clutching at my chest and looking as though I was about to launch into a seizure, asked me what was wrong. I told him I felt something pulling me to the front and I simply can't breathe. He said "Then what you waiting for?" and pushed me to the side of the row of seats for me to make my way to the front of the altar. Now looking back, I thank God for Ming's alertness as well as the push he gave me. Perhaps like a stubborn mule, I needed that. Hehe.

I made my way to the front of the altar like a frighten little girl... still gasping for breathe and a wee wee bit petrified (going up to altar call by myself in a foreign land...well, I was in Malaysia wasn't I? Hehe. And was worried if my childhood asthma's gonna relapse? And why can't I breathe properly?!) As I reached the front, strangely, I could breathe normally again. I was assigned to Yan Xuan (?) and she asked me what I would like to pray for and I said I want to speak in tongues. She laid her hand on me and told me that she could feel the Holy Spirit in me already just that I need to exercise faith to speak out the word given to me, she also explained to me further about what is baptism of the Holy Spirit all about.

As both of us started to pray, I just uttered the word that I had in mind continuously and after about 5mins or less, Yan Xuan spoke to me about a prophesy that God had for me which touched me so deep that I ended up tearing. (Mind you, I only know the lady by name and face!!) I didn't confide in anybody about this but I guess my shepherd and my CL probably can guessed what was truly on my mind from the many times when they asked me to step out in faith and be bold for God, though I never told them about it. God told me to stop asking Him if I qualify, and that He told me He knew me even before I was in my mother's womb. He said He loves me alot but the question is...... "What about you, Priscilla?". That pierced through me.

I was tearing when I was done with the prophesy. I was about to walk back to my seat at the back of the rows when I saw Ming and Irving sitting there. They seem to be waiting for the Cg folks who have answered for altar call to be done to give them moral support. As I made my way towards them with mixed feelings. Feelings of being glad to see familar faces just behind me, feelings of appreciation of how caring and sweet-spirited my Cg brothers are, feelings of being touched by God's prophesy for me, I began to cry buckets. I think the Cg guys like Ming and Irving were probably flabbergasted when they saw that I started to cry. I cried because there and then, when God's prophesy rang once more in my head, I couldn't believe that God would love me so much.

I mean I know that He loves all of us very much but I was overwhelmed that He knew my deepest thoughts, He knew everything about me and yet He choose to love me despite me taking Him for granted sometimes, and He will continue to love me no matter who I am, what shape I am, what state I am, what I do or did not do for that matter, He will still love me! With that new found assurance, my life seems to have taken on a whole new perspective. Everything else seems to pale in comparison to just His assurance and love alone, I felt that everything else was secondary. Now, I truly know the meaning when people say "sometimes, words alone cannot describe how wonderful the feeling is".

Back at my seat, I felt like a kid who had cried too much and was breatheless. It's been a loooooooooOoong while since I cried or was touched. The last bit of ice in me... it melted. As praise and worship resumed, I thanked Him for His word and was singing and jumping with bubbling joy eventhough I was breatheless! After praise and worship, we prayed a bit more and as I was praying or saying the word I had in mind once more. Then....I heard myself spoke a foreign language so fast I could not understand. Immediately, I paused and went "Woah... what was that?!". I wanted to resume praying but the lights went on full and everyone made their way towards the exit for the next program. Urgh! Drats. Quickly, I made my way out of the hall (as I couldn't stand the post-crying feel of tears stuck on my face.. I know.. I'm hiao!!! Hahaha) and ran up to my room, washed up and changed for our unit's captain ball activity by the beach. Afterwhich we all washed up and got into our "aloha night" gear and made our way down for dinner at Mezzanine.

There, I went to talk to Clarence (I was his secret buddy) and Tobias (my secret buddy) and we exchanged contacts and took some kodak moments together. Tobias wrote me a thank you note for the gift I bought for him and I thought that was really nice and sweet of him (the note is filed together with my Kawan camp file as momento!). And that... was the 3rd day of our church camp. Little did I know that God's words to me in the morning of the 2nd day had already come true. I admit, my enzymes were a little slow to react. Hehe.

On the last day of church camp, at the last Praise and Worship session, we were praising God and when we prayed, once more I started to speak in a foreign language which I thought sounded Japanese. Hehe. Again, I went "Woah... Woah.. woah.. hang on.. what's that?". At that very moment, I was awe strucked. Though astonished.... I continued to give thanks to Him (in English though).

Back in Singapore, I was still on leave the next day after church camp. (I know.... I'm smart! Wahahaha... just kiddin...) I was happy that I made new friends and built better friendships from the camp. As I couldn't get enough of being in His presence, I quickly set my mind and heart aside to do some quiet time with Him. Was reading the passage on John 15:14-16 (NIV)

"14You are my friends if you do what I command. 15I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name."


Alright... I thought to myself. Jesus, You said ask in Your name since You call me friend and God will give unto me. So I asked Him again, "Hey God, You said I could speak in tongues at the end of church camp. It's the end of it now. Can I speak in tongues today?" I heard an audible and friendly "Sure!" and as I prayed and continued saying the word I had for 5mins or more, then I broke out speaking in tongues. I was definitely ... astounded.

I'm very thankful to Him for this gift and I enjoy talking to Him in tongues more than I ever had before in limited English. I enjoyed the church camp thoroughly as I made new friends and got to know some friends better. I'm grateful for all the love, care and concern my Cg sisters and brothers have shown me. I have grown to love each and everyone of them very much and look forward to more years of serving the Lord as well as growing together with them. I shared with most of them about my spiritual breakthrough and they were thrilled too. I'm glad for this extended family of mine! I have had my spiritual breakthrough! So.... this is my testimony of my first church camp......and the best part of it all? My hip is still intact. Hehe..Praise God!