My First Praise & Worship

Date: Friday, 17th June 2005

Mood: Nervous, excited, worried, eager.

Reason: Tonight's my first time leading praise & worship in Caregroup.

Came into office, checked emails and hmmm.. not too bad. Can leave on time today to go to TY & Ink's house to practice for P&W one more time at 7pm. Thank God! Happy! Close to knock off time, received a call... and then suddenly.. there was an influx of emails. All about one particular assignee. If you muttered 'oh no/oh dear/dang' under your breathe, yes you got all of that correct. Not only was this 1. Last minute request 2. Urgent 3. Almost impossible, it also means 1. May not be able to leave on time for P&W 2. May not even be on time for Cg 3. Dun know if I can even make it to Cg. You get the picture.

Was thinking... 'Dear God! Nooo!!' Quickly told Him I really do wanna leave office to make it for Cg tonight. Concentrated and used up the remaining brain juices I have. Thank God, problem solved but it was close to 7pm already. Cg starts around 730pm.

Need to print one worship song in A3 paper so that it is big enough for viewing & singing. Searched the whole office floor. All photocopier machines ran out of A3 paper. My colleagues were truly nice to me. Claire, Yan, Hui Boon started looking all over the place for A3 paper for me as well. Claire and Yan stopped their work half way to help me find. Soon I realised almost the few left like Angie, in the office were mobilised to search for A3 paper for me. Time check: 710pm. Dang! Forget it, will print from downstairs Kodak shop.

Went to Kodak shop downstairs... to my horror, the lady said they too ran out of A3 paper. Uuurrgghh!!!! This can't be happening! Not when I am leading for the 1st time! Is this Your way of telling me You don't want me to lead, Lord? That was the constant thought on my mind. Suddenly, I remembered there is a new Fuji printing shop round the corner. Headed there and finally managed to print the worship song. Brisked walked & was practically leaping in my steps to try to get to Cg earlier.

Arrived @TY & Ink's and everyone was there already! Felt soooo bad. Yet when I found out they all prayed for me knowing that I nearly couldn't make it... I was so touched. I went to the toilet for a pee break. In the toilet I was trying to calm down. Flustered and pale I was. Breatheless, I was. How to amplify my voice when I am out of breathe and on the brink of no more strength left? Prayed and told Him. I leave everything onto your hands. I don't know if I can sing or lead well tonight. But I just wanna do my best for you.

Led the P&W, no one knew I was trembling on a richter scale of 9! Guitarists like Merv & Tiger were very nice and helpful. Thanks, guys! TY too helped me alot.. by helping me to pray.. Thanks, sis! Think my voice sucked .. but as I worship Him and when it came to song number 3. 'Blessed be the Lord, God Almighty', somehow, the breatheless me was able to sing much louder without much difficulty. I know its him amplifying me. I just sang my heart out. Couldn't care less about my voice or anything else around me already.. (perhaps thats why I was slow in signalling the guitarists early..) I just wanted to do Your work and please You. whatever the outcome.. I just do my best for You.

And...that was my 1st P&W for you. And me.